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How to Date a Non-Musician: 7 Simple Steps Guide

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Classical Music News

It’s true that most classical musicians tend to date their fellow musicians and for a reason, but sometimes you have to try something new. Something interesting, something unknown – dating non-musicians.
Yes, it is easier to connect with people with the same interests, people who spend their time in the same waters as you, and it is no lie that most of them would be great, sensitive and sensible lovers. But the world is vast and there is plenty fish in the sea – sometimes non-musicians can also have something interesting going on in their lives – like a stable employment or an apartment with more than one room in it.
However, be prepared for a culture shock, since their lives are completely ordinary in comparison to yours and you better have this handy guide with you as you go. If you end up landing such a person, always have in mind those 7 simple tips.

1) You are interesting. Over-dramatize it.
Your victim, ahem crush, has most likely seen the movie Whiplash and is under the impression that it is a close enough depiction of your real life. Play along. Constantly find ways to express the psychological torture you go through on a daily basis. As you are sitting at a nice coffee place, try leaving the table in a frenzied panic and pace around the café, pulling at your own hair and chanting the word “phrasing” repeatedly in a loud whisper. That’ll surely make you irresistible.
2) Use out-of-this-world music terms.
Make sure to casually pop into the conversation words such as “enharmonic equivalents” and/or “double expositions” when you tell your significant other how your day went. They will be fascinated and you will have the upper hand by intimidating the object.
3) Find the binding connections.
First off – good luck with that. Most of them don’t even get why you have to practice (you are incredibly good in their eyes anyways). Still, make an effort and find the common ground – some non-musicians can have some weird perks and interests that fit well with your own.
4) Remember to breathe.
It’s not that scary. You have to try new things. Also, if you don’t breathe you’ll die.
5) Mention that a musician’s passion translates into all aspects of his life.
Yes, that includes the bedroom. You may add the littlest bit of subtle eyebrow wiggling here. You know it from experience.
6) If you play the viola, NEVER allow them to hear you practice or perform.
It’ll be a disaster, let them think you’re some mythical viola god. Otherwise it would be a huge turn off for both of you.
7) And finally, when you do manage to get them back to your place, simply put on your favorite Brahms Intermezzo and listen together in silence. Before bursting into tears.
And remember – with great power, comes great responsibility. May the force be with you.