Home Classical Music Stories 16 words that have a completely warped meaning for classical musicians

16 words that have a completely warped meaning for classical musicians

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16 words that have a completely warped meaning for classical musicians

1) Reception:
What it’s supposed to mean: A social occasion after a recital where one might congratulate the performer.
What the classical musicians mean: A free-for-all food frenzy that you feel you’ve earned after sitting through two hours of new music

2) Accompanist:
What it’s supposed to mean: A person who provides you with musical accompaniment.
What the classical musicians mean: A person worthy of your utmost respect for saving your ass when you make a mistake and puts up with your general craze.

3) Practice:
What it’s supposed to mean: Repeating an exercise in a particular skill, in order to become proficient in it.
What the classical musicians mean: The reason you spend half a day locked away in a soundproof room. Also the reason you have no social life what so ever.

4) Exposure:
What it’s supposed to mean: Being introduced or subjected to something.
What the classical musicians mean: What some people deem as a legit payment. No, exposure does not pay rent.

5) Page-turner:
What it’s supposed to mean: Someone who turns pages for you.
What the classical musicians mean: Someone who holds the fate of your recital’s success in their potentially clumsy hands.

6) Teacher:
What it’s supposed to mean: A person who educates people and helps them learn new things.
What the classical musicians mean: A figure that instills both great respect and crippling fear inside you.

7) Solo:
What it’s supposed to mean: A thing done by one person only.
What classical musicians mean: A chance to show off your fancy cadenza and all the skills you’ve mastered, after you overcome the paralyzing stage fright.

8) Conduct:16words-2
What it’s supposed to mean: To manage and activity, to organize, to lead.
What it means to classical musicians: To zero in on the person who fucked up and staring at them until they feel uncomfortable.

9) Counterpoint:
What it’s supposed to mean: An argument or idea used to create a contrast with the main theme.
What classical musicians mean: The class where you have a ton of red marks on your homework because you missed that fucking parallel fifth, goddammit.

10) Staff:
What it’s supposed to mean: The people who are employed by a particular organization.
What classical musicians mean: That thing you cannot draw straight or evenly to save your life.

11) Sleep:16words-3
WhaWhat it’s supposed to mean: An act of rest that usually occurs at night.
What classical musicians mean: Something that you have to get in 10-minute power-naps between rehearsals.

12) Composer:
What it’s supposed to mean: Someone who writes music, such as Bach, Mozart, or Schumann.
What classical musicians mean: Your slightly pretentious friend who might actually being trying to kill all musicians with his ~experimental~ compositions.

13) Audition:
What it’s supposed to mean: An interview, designed to showcase a practical skill of yours, such as singing, acting or playing an instrument.
What classical musicians mean: An event that puts your stomach in knots because everything is riding on it and it could literally CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

14) Instrument:
What it’s supposed to mean: An object or device used to produce musical sounds.
What classical musicians mean: The sole reason for your joy, pain and income. Basically, your firstborn child.

15) Poster:
What it’s supposed to mean: A large printed picture used for decoration.
What classical musicians mean: Something for which you have to be both funny and hot in a desperate attempt to fill seats at your recital.

16) Music:
What it’s supposed to mean: Vocal or instrumental sounds produced in such a way that creates harmony.
What classical musicians mean: A way of life that is sometimes difficult, but you couldn’t imagine doing anything else.